In a Fog

I'm melting again. I can feel it. My brain just isn't working to its full potential. I can't remember even the simplest things! I am frustrated at myself. Saddened because I can't interact on a normal social level. My mind can't keep up with the conversations of my friends. I feel isolated. Alone. I try to explain to my friends what I'm going through but I can't form my thoughts in a timely enough manner to help them understand what I'm dealing with. It's even hard to type this up in a coherent way. 

It's hard to tell people what I'm going through because fibromyalgia is very misunderstood. It's the invisible disease. I try to come up with excuses that people would understand, and not give me a hard time for. So I feel alone and misunderstood  sometimes. If you don't have it or understand it let me enlighten you. Here's some of the symptoms to help you understand what I'm facing:

Yesterday is when my mind melted again, well started to. I was on the phone with my mom. She asked me a question and I couldn't answer her. It wasn't that I didn't know the answer, but I couldn't process what she was asking. She just asked how my day had been, and what I had been up to. I almost started crying because I felt so inadequate! I couldn't answer a simple question. 

In class today I continued to see my mind function sub-par. I offered a comment in class and my professor asked me a follow up question to expand my thinking. I couldn't process it! I knew what she was asking me to do but I couldn't do it!! I'm sure my face turned bright red. I was embarrassed. I wanted to hide. Ugh. 

I looked up fibromyalgia on webmd. The online know it all said this mind melting is affectionately called "fibro fog." It's real. It's not in my head. I'm not dumb or stupid. Just in a fog. I just need to take a break when I'm melting or in this fog. And then I slowly make up the difference when I'm not in the fog. That's when I'm more social and that's when I get my homework done. 

I'm learning to act in Faith. I really have to trust in God when this is happening:) and He never fails me! Even though today is one of the rough days, I'll have more better days over all!